Things My Mother Taught Me

I bet you’d call me a liar if I told you my mom turns 61 today.

It’s true.  Among the many things I could have inherited from my mom, I secretly hope that one of them is her propensity to age well.  I long ago gave up on the hope of having her warm sociability or  her high tolerance for difficult family members.  But if my cheekbones can stay as high and the scale can stay as low, I’ll be grateful enough.

My mom can have a conversation with anyone.  More than that, she can have a conversation with anyone and actually make them feel important, listened to, and interesting.  She has endless energy, a true love for life, and a selflessness that only a woman who has raised seven children (yes, seven) can possess.

If it was my dad who taught me to use my head, it was my mom who taught me to use my heart.

Here are some words of wisdom from my mama.

On letting go:  My mom frequently repeats to me, “You cannot control the world.”  Some of my greatest moments of anguish come in situations when I am holding on to something that is beyond my control.  Mom recognizes this and gives me permission to let go.  As someone who struggles to have faith of any kind, letting go is sometimes the closest I can get to surrendering to something greater than myself.

On fear and worry:  I have a special talent for worrying and catastrophizing any situation.  It was my mom who first told me, “Don’t believe your own bullshit.”

On fun:  If it weren’t for my mother, what little sense of humor I currently have would be non-existent.  My mom taught me how to have fun, and I don’t mean by teaching me how to make gin and tonics (though she did that, too).  Mom always says, “You’re only young once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

Happy Birthday, Mama.  I love you.