Do you ever just want to slap yourself?
I have these moments a lot.
In the process of moving into our new lovely home, I have found myself feeling oddly without. My mother might say, I’ve had a mentality of scarcity. It started with the kitchen faucet. Stiff as a board, about ten years old, and clearly in need of replacement. I’ll make a list, I thought. Of course we’ll need to replace that old washer and dryer, too, so I wrote that down as well. Later, I took a photo of the house to send to my family and thought, we need an American flag, some flowers, and a wreath for the front porch. And of course, I couldn’t forget the things I needed for the playroom. Everything was added to the list. With each box unpacked, with each load of laundry, with each room cleaned, instead of feeling proud and content, I was compelled to add to my list. New paint, better storage, shinier finishings. Newer. Better. More. More. More.
By the end of the weekend, I was totally overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I was convinced had to be done in order to make our house perfect. I had to consciously stop and remind myself, “You have enough.”
I do this frequently: beat myself up when another month passes and my photos still aren’t organized and printed; when I open the box of Annie’s Mac and Cheese instead of making a real dinner; when I look at a photo and see my still-round arms and full cheeks.
When I become wholly overcome with feelings of inadequacy and comparison, I repeat this mantra:
It’s simple. It’s easy. It’s true.
Doesn’t that feel better than slapping yourself?