To My Husband, on His First Father’s Day

Dear Husband,

It hasn’t been an easy ten months, has it?  Since the day our son was born, it seems like we’ve hardly had a moment together to reflect on our new lives as parents.  And since it doesn’t look like that moment is going to come any time soon, I thought I would take this opportunity to tell you some things that I probably haven’t told you since that day you became a father.  To tell you the things that have gotten lost in the shuffle of dirty diapers, spilled breastmilk, and takeout dinners.

So many of our baby’s first days are a blur.  A blur of of sleepless nights and tears.  The days and nights, the weekdays and weekends…all rolled together as a pile of memories I hope return to me one day when I’m old.  But there are flashes, fragments of memories, moments of perfect clarity that I know I will never forget.

Like that first day in the hospital when the nurse left us and we had to change G’s old-fashioned cloth diaper by ourselves, each of us hoping the other one would figure it out before his frantic newborn cries took over the entire hospital wing.

Or our first night home, the now-infamous hellish “second night,” in which I cried, more than our new baby, and you held us both.

In the craziness of these moments, I never stopped to say,

You are doing a great job.  Despite my constant badgering that you ate the baby’s blueberries, placed his clothes in the wrong drawer, and put his shirt on backwards, you are a wonderful father.

Thank you.  Thank you for being the anchor of our family.  Thank you for going to work every day.  Thank you for providing for our family and making it possible for me to stay home with our son.  Thank you for letting me sleep in every morning while you make coffee, unload the dishwasher, feed and walk the dogs, make your own lunch, and get G ready for the day.  Thank you for taking out the trash, cleaning the car, and taking the endless night shift…and for doing all of it with such patience.

I love you.  We have ten years of great memories together before we became parents, but the last ten months have been my favorite.  The all-encompassing love we share for this little creature that has taken over our lives has confirmed that my decision to have you as the father of my child is my best one yet.

Here’s to you!

Love, Lara